For the past two days, this little dinosaur has been hitchhiking on my side mirror.
And every time I go back to my car, he’s just chilling on top of the mirror, ready to go.
The dude’s hella confused though. He sees himself in the mirror and tries to attract himself to himself
And sometimes it looks like he fell off …
ADVENTURES OF CAR DINOSAUR
cherish him forever
--SOMETIMES I DON'T TAG, LIKE, ANYTHING. I'M SORRY FOR THOSE TIMES, I'M A LAZY BITCH --
I am now in the process of creating a universe.
|Played: 1,898,413 times.|
8 Year old girl from Dublin tries to get her school demolished… Just listen.
OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE IRISH CHILDREN
OH MY FUCKING GOD IM DYING
tha guy on the cliff he just finished highschool and what he did was he threw all his school papers and books over the cliff screaming “take that” personally i think that its really cool because in a way its like hes free. He went through four years of studying,exams,memorizing things that didn’t even matter but now he’s free now he can finally be free and i bet its the best feeling in the world
great, now all the birds and shit gonna be learning human knowledge. get ready for society to be conquered by animals. look outside and a deer is riding a bicycle down the road. stuck in line at the grocery store cause some rabbit is arguing with the clerk about a coupon. fish swims up the toilet while youre droppin a log, asks to borrow some salt. thanks a lot, guy on the cliff
I'm so glad to have a s i s t e r more like m e
requested by: anonymous
you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how math works
hey that means charity will also get unlimited money so I’m game
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities
Dedicated to all my fellow retail employees
All of these are oh so painfully true.
I used to work at McDonalds and literally every single one of them has happened to me. Ergh.
Price tag: “2 for $3”
Customer: “so can I get 1 for $1.50?”
Fuck the customer
How To Train Your Humans
I’m obsessed with this
YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.
please read this whole thing.